The Stand-Up Comedy Database archives information on over 550 stand-up comedians, including tour dates, biographies, works, jokes and videos.
Guys take care of your wife when she’s pregnant. Don’t say stupid stuff either, like me. I came home one time. My wife’s six months pregnant. She’s lying on the couch. There’s food and clothes everywhere. And I walked in and went, “What’d you do today?” Don’t do that.
My wife looked up and said, “Today? I don’t know, Henry. Let’s see… what did I do today? Today I made a lung.”