Girls always have to call somebody when something slightly traumatic almost happens. (Mimes phone call)
(Girl voice) "Ohmigod, you'll never guess what almost happened."
(himself) "Let me guess: nothing. Because it's almost. Goodbye." Click.
When a girl's a screamer during sex, she's either positive or negative. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" or the complete opposite, "No! No! No!" Just once, I want to hear a girl right in the middle. "Maybe! Maybe! Maybe!"