I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.
Is it weird that when your wife's giving you oral sex, that you go "We're going to make a mouth baby!"
Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, "Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60." I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.