Mort Sahl on Yuppies

A yuppie is someone who believes it’s courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn’t been reviewed yet.

Mort Sahl on Nixon

Nixon’s the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he’d throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

Mort Sahl on the Death Penalty

I’m for capital punishment. You’ve got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?

Mort Sahl on Liberals and Conservatives

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions, while conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.