Jokes by Christopher Titus

Stand-Up Comedian Christopher Titus

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Born: March 10, 1966

Blue Meter: Risqué

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  • Material: 43211
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Christopher TItus on Sobriety

I stopped drinking when I was 17 years old because it’s not good for your health and I fell into a bonfire. Yeah, you’re done there. You don’t need AA. Falling into a bonfire is a one step program.

Christopher Titus on Divorce

Divorce is just about change, you know. It’s God saying, “You need a change. And I’m going to make it so your bank account only has change.”

Christopher Titus on Domestic Violence

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. “Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?”