Jokes by Christopher Titus
Born: March 10, 1966
Blue Meter: Risqué
In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1592 | Lost: 1659
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Christopher TItus on Sobriety
I stopped drinking when I was 17 years old because it’s not good for your health and I fell into a bonfire. Yeah, you’re done there. You don’t need AA. Falling into a bonfire is a one step program.
Christopher Titus on Divorce
Divorce is just about change, you know. It’s God saying, “You need a change. And I’m going to make it so your bank account only has change.”
Christopher Titus on Domestic Violence
The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. “Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?”