Robin Harris on Alcoholics

I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholic got to go to them god damn meetings.

Robin Harris on Bebe Kids

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago. She gonna tell me, “If you want to get acquainted with me and my son, you’ll have to take him to Disneyland.” Ain’t that a bitch?
I went to pick her up the next day and here she got four more kids. I said, “Who kids are them?”
She said, “Them Bebe’s Kids.”
I said, “And where the fuck is Bebe?”
She said, “Bebe went downtown.”
I said, “Why didn’t she take her kids with her?”