Jokes by Rita Rudner
Born: September 17, 1956
Blue Meter: Clean
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In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1247 | Lost: 1698
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Rita Rudner on Perfume
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attrat men? Men don’t like flowers. I wear a scent called “new-car interior.”
Rita Rudner on Long Labors
One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner on Break-Ups
One time I love to shop is after a bad relationship. I go and buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. Sometimes if I see a really great outfit I’ll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner on Ballet
I started off as a ballerina. I had to quit ballet after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn’t mine.