Peanut allergies. When did the peanut become the most toxic substance known to man? Have you tried going anywhere near a school with peanut butter? Holy shit! They look at you like you slathered it on your cock and went skipping across the playground!
You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can’t have a favorite. Can’t let them know know if you do. I don’t. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.
I didn’t think I was older until I went into an Abercrombie & Fitch and they looked at me like I was walking through a playground with my cock in my hand.
One time, I was trying to get on a plane. They wouldn’t let me. They said I was too drunk to get on a plane. You know how wasted you have to be for someone to say, “Sir, you’re just too drunk to sit in a seat.”
I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.
George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?