George Carlin on taking shits

There’s a lot of little phrases in the language that don’t say what they mean. Take a shit is one. You don’t take a shit, you leave a shit. That’s the whole idea! To leave it!

George Carlin on Counting

There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot.

George Carlin on TV

You can say prick on television. If it happens to your finger it’s alright. You can prick your finger, just don’t finger your prick.