Bonnie McFarlane on Religious Upbringing

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad’s atheist, my mom’s agnostic. Just constant fighting. “There’s no God!” “There might be!”

Bonnie McFarlane on Tourists

Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to people watch. And I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up. I call it “Lesbian or Midwestern?”

Bonnie McFarlane on Hitting GIrls

I think it’s creepy if a guy says, “I would never hit a girl.” Cause that should go without saying. That’s like if you ever heard a guy go, “I would never crap in a hot tub.”

Bonnie McFarlane on Adivce to the Pregnant

When you’re pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, “I have one word for you: epidural.”
And I was like, “Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.”

Bonnie McFarlane on Learning Your Gay

My neighbor says being gay is biological. And the reason she gives is she says, “I knew I was gay since I was five years old.” Five. I don’t know about you, but when I was five, I’d fuck a guy, fuck a girl, fuck a guy, fuck a girl. I was all over the map. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I didn’t figure that out until I was nine.

Bonnie McFarlane on Equal Pay

I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I’m not sure I’m going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.