To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in mail one day and be like, "I'm Secretary of State next month!"
I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.
We spend $48 million in lottery tickets. You can't trust us with out money.
"How you planning for your retirement?'
"Powerball."