Mitch Fatel on Gifts

Women save every single thing you give them. What we consider gifts they consider potential evidence that could be used against you at a later date. That’s why they have so many shoes. They just need the boxes to save all the crap that we give them.

Mitch Fatel on Getting a Girl Pregnant

I thought I got a girl pregnant once. She called me up. She’s like, “I think I’m pregnant.” I was like, “The number you have reached…”

Mitch Fatel on Orgasms

Every girl who has sex with me ladies is guaranteed to have an orgasm or dinner is on me.