D.L. Hughley on Jesus

They didn’t have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he’s black. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain’t black folk, I don’t know what is.

D.L. Hughley on Drinking and Driving

I’m glad them fuckin’ holidays is over. “Don’t drink and drive.” Motherfucker, how am I going to get home?

D.L. Hughley on Racial Profiling

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? “Maybe I did kill them people.”

D.L. Hughley on Bungie Jumping

Black folks never bungie jump. That’s too much like lynching for us. “I’m gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind.”