Large image of stand-Up comic Christopher Titus

Jokes by Christopher Titus

Christopher Titus on Domestic Violence

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. “Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?”

Christopher Titus on Divorce

Divorce is just about change, you know. It’s God saying, “You need a change. And I’m going to make it so your bank account only has change.”

Christopher TItus on Sobriety

I stopped drinking when I was 17 years old because it’s not good for your health and I fell into a bonfire. Yeah, you’re done there. You don’t need AA. Falling into a bonfire is a one step program.