Hard alcohol is the only thing you put in your body that actually comes with a story. It's like, "You want some tequila?" "No dude, that last time I had that..." Doesn't happen with anything else. "You want some jelly beans?" "No. The last time I had jelly beans I ended up with my pants around my ankles, face down in the wall. Seriously dude, I can't even smell the black ones. Just get 'em out of here?"

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