Jokes by Zach Galifianakis

Stand-Up Comedian Zach Galifianakis

Like this comedian?
Log-In or Register to mark it!

147 Faves

Born: October 1, 1969

Blue Meter: Risqué

Member Ratings

  • Delivery: 43210
  • Material: 43210
  • Overall: 43210

Who's Funnier?

In match-ups against other comics:

68.99%

Won: 2519 | Lost: 1132

See Something Wrong?

Is something missing or inaccurate about this comedian's profile? Write Dead-Frog about it here.

Jokes

Zach Galifianakis on Temping

I used to temp. I called a temp agency once. They were like, “Do you have any phone skills?”
I was like, “I called you, didn’t I?”

Zach Galifianakis on Drinking Problems

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name… and you’ve never been to that bar before.

Zach Galifianakis on Reality TV

I want to do a reality show based on “The Mole” but it’s really about sexually transmitted diseases. And it’s called, “God, I Hope That’s a Mole.”

Zach Galifianakis on The View

I have to stop crying when I watch “The View.” It’s not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

Zach Galifianakis on Grandparents

I once saw my grandparents have sex, and that’s why I don’t eat raisins.