Wanda Sykes on the Lottery

We spend $48 million in lottery tickets. You can’t trust us with out money.
“How you planning for your retirement?’
“Powerball.”

Wanda Sykes on Political Office

To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in mail one day and be like, “I’m Secretary of State next month!”

Wanda Sykes on Men

I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house.