Jokes by Tig Notaro

Stand-Up Comedian Tig Notaro

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Tig Notaro on School

I was one of those kids that finished school early… by dropping out.

Tig Notaro on Pickups

I was at a party and this guys was hitting on me. But he was hitting on me with the most boring questions. One of them was “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
And I was like, “Anywhere?”
And he was like, “Anywhere.
And I was like, “To the other side of the room… Now please get out of the way of a woman and her dream.”

Tig Notaro on Binges

I went on a hardcore drinking and smoking binge. It lasted right about nine months. And then as soon as I was born, I was like, “Do not go in there.”