Jokes by Steven Wright
77
Faves
Born: December 6, 1955
Blue Meter: Clean
See Something Wrong?
Is something missing or inaccurate about this comedian's profile? Write Dead-Frog about it here.Jokes
Steven Wright on His Birth
I was Cesarean born. Can’t really tell. Although, whenever I leave a house I got out through the window.
Steven Wright on Everything
Well, you can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright on Sandboxes
When I was a little kid, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
Steven Wright on 24 Hours
I went to a store and the sign said Open 24 Hours. When I got there, there was guy outside locking it up. I said, “What are you doing, the sign says Open 24 hours?” And he said, “Not in a row.”
Steven Wright on Restaurants
I went into a restaurant. The menu said “breakfast any time.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Find Comedy Near You
Discover stand-up coming to your town
The 5 Funniest Comedians
Based on the Who's Funnier Game.
3.
Louis C.K.
5.
Bill Cosby
See the 25 Funniest Comedians
Influence the rankings by playing Who's Funnier.
