Jokes by Roseanne Barr

Stand-Up Comedian Roseanne Barr

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AKA: Roseanne Arnold

Born: November 3, 1952

Blue Meter: Risqué

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Jokes

Roseanne Barr on Birth Control

I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don’t even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.

Roseanne Barr on Raising Kids

The way I look at it, if the kids are still alive when my husband comes home from work, then I’ve done my job.

Roseanne Barr on Feminity

People say to me, “You’re not feminine.” Well, they can just suck my dick.