Richard Lewis on Hypochondria

I’m a major hypochondriac. I won’t even masturbate anymore. I’m afraid I might give myself something.

Richard Lewis on Masturbation

I find masturbation to be too intimate quite frankly. In fact, I won’t even masturbate unless I promise myself to take myself afterwards out to a dinner and a film. Which is sad.

Richard Lewis on Hanukkah

My family wasn’t very religious. On Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.

Richard Lewis on Self Esteem

Low self-esteem sex is bad. Here’s the deal: when I have an orgasm I shriek, “I’m sorry!”