Jokes by Rich Vos
Born: June 30, 1957
Blue Meter: Dirty
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In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1365 | Lost: 1863
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Rich Vos on Arab Parents
Do you think when Arabs give their kids toy cars, they say “you can only use this once.”?
Rich Vos on His Daughters
I’m divorced from my first wife. I got two daughters. And I was divorced when they were young. They were like four and two. And they took it tough… because I told them it was their fault.
Rich Vos on Real Estate Agents
This is how dumb the real estate agents are in New Jersey. They put their headshots and their advertisements on city benches. You know who sleeps on city benches? Homeless people. Why don’t you just put a picture of a four course meal next to it. “Here’s two things you’ll never own.”
Rich Vos on Sobreity
I just celebrated seventeen years without a drug or a drink in my body. Seventeen years sober. I don’t need to get high. I got gambling to fall back on.
Rich Vos on Counseling
I’m divorced… I tried to save my marriage. I went to counseling. Spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.
Rich Vos on Amsterdam
I liked Amsterdam. I spent $2,000 window shopping.