Mort Sahl

Jokes by Mort Sahl

Mort Sahl on Liberals and Conservatives

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions, while conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.

Mort Sahl on Yuppies

A yuppie is someone who believes it’s courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn’t been reviewed yet.

Mort Sahl on Nixon

Nixon’s the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he’d throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

Mort Sahl on the Death Penalty

I’m for capital punishment. You’ve got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?