Mitch Fatel on Orgasms

Every girl who has sex with me ladies is guaranteed to have an orgasm or dinner is on me.

Mitch Fatel on Gifts

Women save every single thing you give them. What we consider gifts they consider potential evidence that could be used against you at a later date. That’s why they have so many shoes. They just need the boxes to save all the crap that we give them.

Mitch Fatel on Getting a Girl Pregnant

I thought I got a girl pregnant once. She called me up. She’s like, “I think I’m pregnant.” I was like, “The number you have reached…”