Mike Birbiglia on Golddiggers

I realized recently that what I need to find is a woman who love me for my money but doesn’t understand math.

Mike Birbiglia on Illiteracy

I shouldn’t say bad stuff about illiterate people. I should write it.

Mike Birbiglia on Gay Roommates

I got a gay roommate. I got ground rules. I’m like, “You got to stay on your side of the shower.” And if he doesn’t, no more back rubs.