Large image of stand-Up comic Larry Miller

Jokes by Larry Miller

Larry Miler on Religious Presidents

I don't want a clean living guy in the White House with his finger on the button. He thinks he's going right to heaven. You want to feel safe with a leader. Give me a guy who fights in bars and cheats on his wife. This is a man who wants to put off Judgement Day as long as possible.

Larry Miller on Playing Dumb

As women well know, the reason men are no good at playing dumb is most of the time we're not playing.

Larry Miller on Friend’s Kids

Every time a friend of mine has a kid I go over to the crib and say, “You know, I used to hold your father’s head while he threw up.”