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Stand-Up Comedian Jim Norton

Jokes by Jim Norton

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Jim Norton on Relationships

I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn’t hit her.

Jim Norton of Self Loathing

God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. “You little fat-titted mediocre failure!” You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year’s Eve.

Jim Norton of Talking Dirty

I’m a big fan of talking dirty, but not everyone is good at it. I happen to be very good at it because I’m comfortable. I’ll say something sexy like, “You like that shit!”

Jim Norton on Vaginas

They don’t tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.

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Videos

All video pulled from YouTube.

Jim Norton On Letterman - Watch
jim norton on relationships - Watch
10 Year Old Jim Norton - Watch
Gene Simmons Roast-3 Jim Norton - Watch

Reviews

Default Dead-Frog Icon ryanlock2u says:
Delivery: 54321
Material: 43211

A self-depricating cringe artist, and a razor-sharp wit. Norton is at his best when off the cuff (e.g. radio).

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