Jeff Foxworthy on Married Sex

You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

Jeff Foxworthy on Rednecks, Part 1

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

Jeff Foxworthy on Discipline

Nowadays you can’t even spank your kids. No, gotta give ‘em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day… to whip our ass.

jeff Foxworthy on Keys

I’ve got keys to crap I’ve never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.