Jeff Foxworthy on Married Sex

You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

jeff Foxworthy on Keys

I’ve got keys to crap I’ve never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

Jeff Foxworthy on Discipline

Nowadays you can’t even spank your kids. No, gotta give ‘em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day… to whip our ass.

Jeff Foxworthy on Rednecks, Part 1

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.