Jokes by George Wallace
Born: July 21, 1952
Blue Meter: Tame
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In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1456 | Lost: 1650
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George Wallace on Mother
My mother could say some stupid things. I do something wrong, she’d say things that didn’t even make sense. “You go to your room and you stay there until you know how to act.” I’m in my room for three hours. “To be or not to be, that is the question.”
George Wallace on Taiwan
I was walking around Taiwan and bought some flip flops for my feet. I said I wonder where were these made. Looked under the bottom. It said, “just around the corner.”
George Wallace on Church
Freaks everywhere. I went to a church in Chicago. Church had six Commandments and four do-the-best-you-cans.
George Wallace on The Clapper
What lazy SOB invented the Clapper? What do I have to invent so I don’t have to get off my lazy butt and go over and flip that light switch. My father had a Clapper 30 years ago—me.
George Walace on Flying
Who ever heard of flight 5050? It’s always flight 102, flight 216. 5050? They’re telling you before you leave the gate - 50/50. Now go out there on runway 13 and give it your best shot.