D.L. Hughley on Drinking and Driving

I’m glad them fuckin’ holidays is over. “Don’t drink and drive.” Motherfucker, how am I going to get home?

D.L. Hughley on Bungie Jumping

Black folks never bungie jump. That’s too much like lynching for us. “I’m gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind.”

D.L. Hughley on Jesus

They didn’t have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he’s black. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain’t black folk, I don’t know what is.

D.L. Hughley on Racial Profiling

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? “Maybe I did kill them people.”