David Cross on Pornography

I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

David Cross on the Minimum Wage

You can’t say minimum wage to people when they’re asking you questions. “What are you making now?’ “Minimum wage. Yeah. Lowest amount legally possible. Yeah. That’s where I’m at right now. Oh, they’d like to pay me less. But they can’t. Legally they can’t. I win! I’m the winner!”

David Cross on Drug Rallies

I recently attended a pro-drug rally… in my basement.