Jokes by Bobby Slayton
Born: May 25, 1955
Blue Meter: Dirty
In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1086 | Lost: 1687
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Bobby Slayton on Porn Stars
I had a porn star in the audience the other night, and she really doesn’t like performing sex scenes. She says, “I fake my orgasms. I can’t wait for this to get off me. And all I can think about is getting paid and having dinner later.” I said, “Wow! I’m married to a porn star!”
Bobby Slayton on the Death Penalty
You know who doesn’t get the death penalty? Crazy people. That’s a defense in America. “My client’s crazy. He doesn’t know what he did.” Fine, then he doesn’t know we’re gonna kill him. If a guy’s that retard, you put him the electric chair and tell him it’s a ride.
Bobby Slayton on Penis Envy
Women don’t have dicks and they don’t want dicks. That amateur psychology crap that women want penises. And they certainly don’t want testicles. Because you know no women in her right mind is going to carry around a bag that she can’t put stuff in.
Bobby Slayton on Anti-Drug Ads
I don’t get the point of drug commercials. Like the thing with the frying pan and the egg. “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” Yeah, do I get bacon with this?
Bobby Slayton on Sense of Humor
If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.