Jokes by Bill Cosby
Born: July 12, 1937
Blue Meter: Clean
In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 2695 | Lost: 998
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Bill Cosby on Natural Child Birth
Natural child birth means no drugs will be administered into the female’s body during the delivery. The father can have all he wants.
Bill Cosby on Child Psychology
I graduated from Temple University. Physical education major with a child psychology minor. Which means if you ask me a question about a child’s behavior, I will tell you to tell the child to take a lap.
Bill Cosby on Cocaine
I said to a guy, “Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?” And the guy said, “Well, it intensifies your personality.” And I said, “Yes, but what if you’re an asshole?”
Bill Cosby on His Mother
My children think my mother is the most wonderful woman on the face of the Earth. And I keep telling my children, “That’s not the same woman I grew up with. You’re looking at an old person who’s trying to get into heaven now.”