Bill Burr on Death

Why would you listen to another human being tell you where you’re going to go when you die?
“Dude, have you ever been dead?”
“No.”
“So, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that you wouldn’t have the slightest fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Bill Burr on Brunch

Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.