Jokes by Bernie Mac
AKA: Bernard Jeffrey McCollough
Born: October 5, 1957
Death: August 9, 2008
Blue Meter: Risqué
In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 2305 | Lost: 1330
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Bernie Mac on Dark-Skinned Blacks
You know you’re black motherfucka when you put fingerprints on charcoal.
Bernie Mac on Whites and Blacks at the Job
When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their God damn tea. 15 minutes they’re back on the fucking job.
My people I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with us. But when we go on break, that’s just what the fuck we do…. we break. You got to look for our motherfucking ass. “You seen Johnny?”
Bernie Mac on Bad Kids
Son of bitch kids too God damn smart for me. Sassy-talking, shaking heads and shit. “Talk to the hand. Talk to the hand.” See, I’m from the old school, I’ll kick a kid ass. When a kid gets one years old, I believe you have the right to hit them in the throat or the stomach. if you’re grown enough to talk back, you’re grown up enough to get fucked up.