Jokes by Bernie Mac

Stand-Up Comedian Bernie Mac

Like this comedian?
Log-In or Register to mark it!

16 Faves

AKA: Bernard Jeffrey McCollough

Born: October 5, 1957

Death: August 9, 2008

Blue Meter: Risqué

Member Ratings

  • Delivery: 43210
  • Material: 43210
  • Overall: 43210

Who's Funnier?

In match-ups against other comics:

62.96%

Won: 2089 | Lost: 1229

See Something Wrong?

Is something missing or inaccurate about this comedian's profile? Write Dead-Frog about it here.

Jokes

Bernie Mac on Dark-Skinned Blacks

You know you’re black motherfucka when you put fingerprints on charcoal.

Bernie Mac on Whites and Blacks at the Job

When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their God damn tea. 15 minutes they’re back on the fucking job.
My people I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with us. But when we go on break, that’s just what the fuck we do…. we break. You got to look for our motherfucking ass. “You seen Johnny?”

Bernie Mac on Bad Kids

Son of bitch kids too God damn smart for me. Sassy-talking, shaking heads and shit. “Talk to the hand. Talk to the hand.” See, I’m from the old school, I’ll kick a kid ass. When a kid gets one years old, I believe you have the right to hit them in the throat or the stomach. if you’re grown enough to talk back, you’re grown up enough to get fucked up.