Arj Barker on Sex Baseball

I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.

Arj Barker on Friends with Kids

It’s gotten to the point where I think my friends would rather hang out with their own kids than hang out with me. And I’m like, “Alright, but where’s the loyalty, man. I’ve known you for twenty-five years. How long have you known your baby, like, a month?”

Arj Barker on Settling Down

I’m not even worried about settling down. I think it’s way too early. I’m 25 and I’m in show business. I mean, if things go well, my wife hasn’t even been born yet.