Arj Barker on Friends with Kids

It’s gotten to the point where I think my friends would rather hang out with their own kids than hang out with me. And I’m like, “Alright, but where’s the loyalty, man. I’ve known you for twenty-five years. How long have you known your baby, like, a month?”

Arj Barker on Settling Down

I’m not even worried about settling down. I think it’s way too early. I’m 25 and I’m in show business. I mean, if things go well, my wife hasn’t even been born yet.

Arj Barker on Sex Baseball

I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.