Jokes by Arj Barker
Born: April 18, 1974
Blue Meter: Tame
In match-ups against other comics:
Won: 1456 | Lost: 1880
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Arj Barker on Fonts
It’s too difficult to convey tone in electronic communication. And we can solve this my friends. All we need is some new fonts.
“(reading email) ‘Great party Arj. Best party ever.’ What a jerk!”
“How do you know he wasn’t being sincere, Arj?”
“Because he wrote it in Sarcastica! If he had enjoyed himself, he would have used Good Times Roman.”
Arj Barker on Settling Down
I’m not even worried about settling down. I think it’s way too early. I’m 25 and I’m in show business. I mean, if things go well, my wife hasn’t even been born yet.
Arj Barker on Friends with Kids
It’s gotten to the point where I think my friends would rather hang out with their own kids than hang out with me. And I’m like, “Alright, but where’s the loyalty, man. I’ve known you for twenty-five years. How long have you known your baby, like, a month?”
Arj Barker on Sex Baseball
I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.